I can't believe it, round 5 of chemo has come and gone, and it's almost time for the FINAL round 6!! Though I am actually dreading it, seeing as round 5 really wiped me out, I am beyond excited and ready to be done!
Like I mentioned, round 5 was pretty rough. I said this would happen, but it's crazy to see how much more the chemo effects my body each time, seeing as i'm weaker and weaker every round. It's been exactly two weeks since the start of round 5, and i'm just barely starting to feel better. That hasn't been the case with previous rounds. I just hope my body can bounce back enough to be able to keep on schedule and start round 6 next week. Let's get this over with!!
My symptoms this round were about the same, just a few more side effects, and then all worse than the time before. So, achey sick body, ear aches, headaches, nausea, throwing up, and then really bad sores in my mouth and throat that made it feel like I was swallowing fiery knives. The chemo attacks all fast dividing cells, thus the reason you lose your hair and get sores in your mouth, because it goes after your whole gi tract. Well, TMI but, I had horrible sores in my mouth and throat, you can imagine how the opposite end felt...I'll tell you, not good!
So now you can see a little bit more why this last round is so bitter sweet...yay that it's the last one, but not fun knowing what I have to look forward to. The chemo did make me quite "out of it" this last time. For example, we went to my sister's house for dinner friday night, and I have absolutely NO recollection of it. They said I sat in the corner and just watched mostly...yep, don't remember. So hey, maybe I can do this final round without really knowing I did ;)
*perks of being sick: extra cuddles *did you know our eyelashes and nose hairs actually serve great purposes?! Since I have neither, my eyes always water and my nose drips constantly. Thus, this beautiful look. *My cute Dad helping me get all set up for round 5. Huntsman has puzzles everywhere. Seems a little germy to me, but this guy liked it. *round 5. Have you noticed, I steal my kids' blankies to keep my head warm. *getting disconnected. I love their warm blankets.
I have to admit that there were quite a few nights where I cried myself to sleep. Whether it was because I saw a picture of myself, my thick hair, all braided and wearing a bright smile of someone who was healthy and active, or because I was so tired and sick of feeling crappy, I cried. And every night, my sweet husband was always there to give me a kiss on my bald head, listen, though there wasn't much to say, and tickled my back until I fell asleep.
On one particular night, the one where I was missing my hair, I decided to pray. But instead of a regular prayer, I felt like I needed to pray and thank my Heavenly Father for every blessing I enjoy. And I wasn't going to stop praying until I felt happy, lucky, and loved. (I'll let you know, that didn't take long. But I kept praying and praying. Listing every single blessing I enjoy.) Here are a FEW things that made the list...
Fast showers and no razor burn
My eternal family
All 5 senses
Snuggles with my babies
A comfortable home
A family who sacrifices for me every day
and many many more! I was praying for a long time. And like I said, I felt very happy and lucky just as soon as I started, but it was important to see how blessed I really am. I'm sure I gave Heavenly Father a good chuckle.
Thank you for continuing to cheer me on, YOU guys were on my list too.